The Mad Family

Our Little Easter Beauties!

Conversations

LILY: Now, hold still so that I can get this back in your hair before Mommy see's what you've done.

ELLA: What are you doing? Put it in my hair, now!

LILY: I'm not putting it back in until you say, 'Lily Kate is the best sister ever.'

ELLA: Lily Kate is the best sister ever...(and then mutters while staring at shoe) and the meanest...
ELLA: Forget it! I don't care about no stinkin' bow! I have better things to do anyway. I'm outta' here!
LILY: What?! I was getting ready to put it in your hair! Come back here...I was just kidding!

Our Easter egg hunt at church

Here are some photo's from our Easter egg hunt at church.

I love the picture below! Check out all those eggs right in front of Caleb, yet he is intently staring at the ground looking for eggs...all morning both of the boys overlooked the obvious eggs in front of them!

Case in point...check out all the eggs within reach, yet Luke goes for the obscure egg in the bushes!


Caleb and the Easter bunny. He's so cute! After he got his picture taken with her I said, "Wasn't that a cute Easter Bunny?" Caleb's response was an enthusiastic, "Uhhh-HUH!"
And this was the pose that Luke did with the Easter Bunny...Oh yeah, he refused to have his picture taken with that cute bunny girl. This was the little fit he threw! So dramatic!

Easter

I know I said I wouldn't talk about it, but...

I lied. Well, it wasn't really a lie since I really hadn't planned on discussing my current situation, but really need some help. And sympathy. Lots of sympathy.

So my friend Kellie thinks I'm nuts-o (for many reasons) but I went cold turkey with the nursing drama. I mean, I had cut down to 2 nursings a day, for a couple of days, and then just quit. So I am very engorged and uncomfortable. This is the way that I did it with both the boys and don't remember it feeling this bad, but then again my memory is foggy on many things (by the way, I think that is God's grace on us as mamas so that we have more than 1 kid). Anyway, I am so uncomfortable. And I forget, how long will this last?

I'm just not sure that this was the best week to stop nursing. Luke got a fever yesterday. I didn't know that he was sick, but I had a feeling that something was up. What really tipped me off was when he got into a fight with his best buddy, Luke LaMar, at the park yesterday. Luke Mad loves his "best buddy" and they normally get along so great and almost never fight. Yeah, so when Luke Mad pushed his best buddy, I knew something was up with that kid. He was up at 3am and Daddy went to the guest bedroom while Luke got in bed with me. Poor thing, he was so uncomfortable, and burning up with fever, that he just tossed and turned until it was time to get up. If I was nursing I would feel much better about the girl's chances of not getting this, but now I am more concerned.

Anyway, I will be thrilled to report when this whole nursing drama is over... and I am sure you will be thrilled when you don't have to hear it anymore!

We're growing up

Well, it's done. Over. No more. Today is the first day in 10 months that I woke up and didn't nurse a baby (or two!). It was weird. And now it's official. The girls are weaned.

Yesterday, I awoke with the intent of not nursing the girls. Then I had a meltdown. In the closet at 7:15am. I had to call my bff to talk me through my drama.

I am overwhelmed by how fast my kids are growing up. And it's funny because for the past 5 years I have been hurrying them along. I couldn't wait for them to get older to get out of some phase that they were going through. And now that they are getting older, I want time to stop. And therein lies my drama.

The thought of weaning the girls has been a difficult one for me. Listen people, I'm not a le leche league spokesperson and to be honest have never loved nursing children. But, there is something different about knowing that this is the last time that you will ever nurse a baby. It seems so final. And brings a reality that this, also, is the last time that I will ever have 10 month old babies. And that's the thought that makes me want to make the clock stand still for a while.

So yesterday morning, I decided to nurse for the last time. And I listened, with a heart full of love and adoration, to those adorable grunting and gulping noises that they make when nursing. I talked to them, watched them and enjoyed every last minute of my time with them.

And now it is over. Well, the nursing part is over. The engorged, painful boobies have just begun. But I will spare you having to hear all that drama!

Three Words...

FREEZER MEALS BABY!!! When I was first introduced to this idea 4 or 5 years ago, the thought of eating casseroles out of the freezer was totally unappealing. First of all, I'm not really a casserole girl and secondly, I always do Weight Watchers after I have a baby (and in the last 5 years it seems like all I've done is have babies, but that my friends is another story!) and I didn't think that freezer meals would be conducive to WW. Thirdly, the whole concept seemed too time consuming and possibly not worth the effort.



Oh, but how I was wrong on all accounts. Now that I have done some freezer cooking, I'm not sure I could ever go back. I'm addicted. And how it has changed my afternoons!

For those of you that have never done it before, I have a few pieces of advice. There are a couple of ways to freezer cook; you can cook with a friend (or friends) or you can cook by yourself. There are pros and cons to both.

1. Cooking with a friend. PROS: It's a fun way to spend the morning/day/afternoon. Time goes by faster. You are able to cook larger quantities, faster. Cheaper up front. Someone to divide and conquer with. CONS: You have to work around each other's schedules. If you both have kids at home, you have to figure out what to do with the kids. You also have to get together a lot to get a variety.
2. Cooking on your own. PROS: You can cook at your own pace. You can make whatever you want. CONS: It's more expensive and not as fun.

I have done both. Cooking with a friend has been documented here and here. I have been cooking on my own and find it to be pretty easy. Here's what I have been doing: I buy a ton of chicken (since, aside from fish, that is really the only meat we eat) and then when I get home divide it into meals that require uncooked chicken breasts and meals that require cooked chicken. Over the next couple of days I make the chicken breast meals. And then over the next 2 weeks I make 2 meals from my freezer cookbooks and quadruple the recipe, then freeze it. Easy-peasy and lots of variety.

Two books that I have been using and LOVE! are Don't Panic Dinner's in the Freezer and Holly Klegg's Trim and Tasty Freezer meals. They both have ton of variety and I don't know that I have made a casserole yet! And Holly Klegg's book has all the nutritional facts, so that I can figure out the points.

Works for me!! For more Works for Me ideas check out Rocks in my Dryer.

Calm before the storm...

Caleb has been de-lish-us the past couple of days! Just delightful. And boy, has it made this house so peaceful and my mothering job much easier. So much easier. It's not just his behavior that has changed, it's his heart. He's not just obedient, but also has a desire to obey. I love the behavior change, but the heart change is so much sweeter and brings such joy to my heart.

I wish that I could say that this was going to be a permanent change but I know, from experience, that it's not. He will at some point and for some length of time go back to being more challenging, but for now I will bask in this cool shower of God's grace. This weary mom needs it. And I love how Father knows that.

I have been reading this book about the Spirited Child and so far have really liked it. It's a new perspective on my sweet boy's personality. It's funny, I have lots of friends who have these young children who are under three and they have already labeled them "strong-willed". I always find that humorous because they are 2 or 3...that is there job. To figure out their boundaries, test the rules and learn who's boss. Those things don't define strong-will, they define the trying-two's and teachable-three's. Labels at that age bother me. I like how this book labels my boy as "spirited". And now that he's about to be six, I feel like it's safe to give him a label. I'm just not planning on telling him he has one!

I have been thinking about how the exhausting part of the "spirited" child isn't behavior, but attitude. It's not that he's "bad" or even "naughty". Those things can be trained out of a child. It's that he's defiant and challenges my authority on everything. He's intense, intelligent, and perceptive. It is our job to channel these things and teach sweet boy how to handle them. And once we have - the sky is the limit on what this child will be able to accomplish. He's an amazing little boy.



And that is why I believe that during these exhausting times, in this journey called motherhood, that God is faithful and knows that there are moments when I could use a shower of grace to give me hope and push me forward. As mother's, we don't always get to see the fruit of our labor. In fact, very little we do ever feels complete or finished. Especially as the mother of young children, we don't often get to feel the satisfaction of a finished product...a job well done. We have to rely on faith and prayer. And what a great place to be.



I read this quote today and thought it amazing...

"I have held many things in my hands

and have lost them all; but whatever

I have placed in God's hands,

that I still possess."

~ Martin Luther

Happy 10 month Birthday!

*SIGH*

The girlie's turn 10 months old today. Look at them. Are they stinkin' adorable or what?!?!? Sometimes I look at them and I think my heart will explode with love! Don't get me wrong, I love my boys. They are smart, funny, charming, wild, adventurous, loud, imaginative, and all boy. My girls on the other hand are my little dolls. My sweet, precious, little girlie doll babies!! And my baby dolls are 10 months old today. And I seriously want the clock to stop because they are growing too fast.
Here is a little update on their little lives:

• Neither are crawling...yet. Ella is super close, but Lily Kate has no desire. Although Ella can't crawl yet, she finds a way to get into naughtiness! I have been quite blessed to be able to put them down with their toys and then go off to work on something else. When I came back, they would be sitting there playing quietly. Now I have to come back and check more often to make sure that Ella hasn't gotten into any trouble!
• We haven't had the girls weighed yet (they go at the end of the month) but I think they are getting bigger.
• When I kiss them I make loud smacking noises. Well, now they click their tongues when I make the smacking noise. It sounds just like my smacking. And they both do it. Isn't that strange? (Gi-Gi thinks that's how they talk to each other..)
• Ella is particular about the bottle she drinks from, but Lily will drink from any bottle.
• Lily is still weary of strangers (especially men).
• Ella makes the cutest growling noise. I started calling her "grrr-ella" which kinda sounds like "gorilla"! Gi-Gi thinks that is a terrible nickname!
• The weaning is going good. They don't really care at all, I am really taking it slow for my sake!
• The boys are quite definitive about which baby belongs to which boy. Luke claims Ella and Caleb claims Lily. Always. They never switch. The odd part about it, is that Ella is more like Luke and Lily more like Caleb.
• They both have their 2 bottom teeth. They aren't all the way in and I think that's when they are the cutest!
• There have been many tiffs over toys lately. I have a feeling there will be many, many, many more to come in their future. Today it's toys, tomorrow it's...boys!
• They love to be outside. Yep, they are Mad kids!
• They really are good, delightful babies.

News Flash

Here is a bit of exciting news...2 months from today is Lovey's graduation from medical school!!!! The end is so close and that is amazing to me! Absolutely amazing. I remember when we started medical school and 4 years seemed sooo long. We laughed about how Caleb would be almost six! when Joseph would graduate. Time has flown by.

In other exciting news...I am weaning the girlfriends this week!!!! The time has finally come. It really is so bittersweet. I was reminiscing with my bff today about the first couple of months of nursing the twinkies. I honestly wasn't sure how long I would last after mastitis, thrush and then there was the 45 min. nursing drama! I am so thankful that I stuck with it and pushed through the pain. And now that it is almost over, there is a tiny part of me that will miss it! Just a tiny part of me! The rest of me is thrilled that it is over. They are getting harder to nurse - crawling off, playing with each other's hair and face, being easily distracted by anything (especially Daddy and Caleb's voices) and then the final straw...Ella has been biting me with her razor sharp teeth. Last night I yelped in pain and scared her. I made her cry and scared her so much, that she wouldn't nurse anymore. I felt bad, but it REALLY hurt! Really bad!

I went to the gym for the first time in a while today and am currently sitting in a very quiet house. The girls are napping and Gi-Gi has the boys at Chuck E Cheese. She and Aunt Amy spent the morning doing crafts with the kids. Last night Gi-Gi made dinner and helped me make freezer meals. And read to the kids and ran to the store for me and...I wish she could move in! It is a great treat for me this week since the kids are out of school and Joseph's hours are terrible this week! God's timing is fab!!

Well, I guess that is all for today. Tomorrow is the big 10 month birthday and I, as usual, will have my update on their little lives.

Dedicated to Raising Oaks of Righteousness

Today was a special day in the Mad house...Lily Kate and Ella Grace got dedicated! It was pretty sweet. I wasn't quite sure what the girls would do up there since they went to bed late last night, got up early this morning and don't like strangers looking at them. That last one is problematic when you are standing in front of the entire church!

The girls did great and looked a-d-o-r-a-b-l-e! Our church made it a short, meaningful ceremony where we acknowledged our desire to raise our girls in a family of faith and the church professed their desire to do their part in teaching our girls that Jesus died on the cross so that they can spend eternity in the presence of the one who loves them and created them.


The day was also made special because the girls aunt, grandma and some of our special friends came to church for their meaningful day!

The not-so-special-part was in the car after church where the kids and I had a melt down. Luckily Gi-Gi (grandma) came to the rescue and kept the kids at home while Joseph and I got to go to lunch with our friends. The girls were more excited about being home, then they were about going to California Pizza Kitchen, anyway!

My friend, Kellie, got these pictures for us. And because of the meltdown, we don't have any of the 6 of us. We really need to get some family pictures taken. If only the thought of doing so didn't leave me full of anxiety...

TAG, I'm it!

Miriam has tagged me! These are the rules!
1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
4. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
5. Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

Six non-important things about me:

1. I am so confused about freezer burn. And because of that if anything in my freezer has frost on it - I throw it out! I don't know that I have actually tasted food that has been subject to freezer burn, but I'm convinced that it will somehow harm me. Convinced!

2. Almost every single night for the past 6 1/2 years, I have asked Lovey the same question: "Did you lock the doors?"

3. I believe that I am an introvert stuck in an extroverts body. I really do consider myself shy.

4. There are 3 things that I have no idea how to do, but want desperately to learn...play tennis, understand HTML and have a veggie garden that I don't kill in the first week.

5. I draw the line at listening to kiddie music in the car. And because of that my kids have some odd favorite songs! Right now the boys are in to Burlap to Cashmere.

6. I love, love, love, love, love 80's music! It takes me back to my roller rink days. *big sigh* Now I must go off to daydream about my glory days...


I tag:
Julie
Stacy
Kellie
Anna
Amy
Susan

The day has finally come!

THAT WAS THEN...
THIS IS NOW...



Our little girlies are in their own cribs! (We did this a couple of weeks ago, but I am just now getting around to blogging about it.) I wasn't sure how they would handle being seperated, but they did great! Sometimes I still find them trying to reach one another through the slats of the crib...it is so precious! Now that they are in their own cribs, Ella has started moving around wildly in her crib. Lily Kate can be found in the same position that she was put down in. My sweet little girls!

Right of passage for Caleb and his mama!

The day that I had been dreading for 5 years came a month ago. I knew that it would come, but I just kept telling myself that I still had plenty of time and would deal with it when it came. And I have. But not in the way that I thought I would

When Caleb was a baby, I always said that I would never allow my boys to have guns. Real, fake or pretend, I was not interested in my boys having guns. They hurt people, kill and have no place in the Mad house.

And then Caleb turned 18mo. old and was saying, "bang" and shooting me with french fries. I ignored and admonished, but that didn't stop him. By the time he was 2 1/2 he was turning everything into guns...broom handles, wooden horse sticks, green beans... all became weapons. Now he has every pretend gun known to man. Obviously I gave up. But not without rules! Clear rules. There will be no shooting mama, no pointing guns at friends who aren't playing the game or don't want to be shot, and no guns at the dinner table.

Well, now the day has come where joseph asked me if I was okay with him getting Caleb a BB gun. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. pause. silence. Hmmmmmmmmm. pause. silence. (BIG SIGH.) And then I had questions. What does that mean? What kind of BB gun? What would the rules be? How would this work? Do you really think this is a good idea? And he had some really good answers.

Joseph grew up in Alaska. Born and raised. He shot his first rabbit at like 5 or something like that. He was taught gun safety from day one. He grew up understanding the power of guns and proper use of guns. And he wants to teach that to our boys and someday go back home to Alaska and hunt with our boys. And while I don't understand that (afterall I am a city slicker!!) I completely respect it and respect him for wanting to teach our boys.

When Caleb got the news he was THRILLED!!! And that is an understatement. Here are some picture of my handsome boys.

This is what Caleb does even when he doesn't have a gun in his hands.

Daddy teaching Caleb the proper way to hold a gun. He didn't need much teaching.
Joseph made a target for shooting practice.

Of course, now Daddy wants a turn! There are some things that make men digress...playing with guns in one of those things.

Pure joy on my baby boys face!

And the sniper pose...Caleb's favorite!

A little pat on the back!

I have told you many times (here, here, or here are just a few) about what a mess I am as a mama, but rarely feel like I have moments to report to you where I shine. Welll, as of yesterday, I have one!

Luke is 3 1/2 years old as sucks a pacifier. I don't love it, but haven't felt the need to fight the battle to get rid of it either. I tell him periodically that when he turns 4 he will be a big boy and have to give his "passy" to some babies that need it. Other than that though, I haven't really pushed the issue. The only rule that I set up for his pacifier is that it must stay confined to his bed. He isn't allowed to roam around the house with it. The pacifier wasn't a battle that I was interested in fighting and figured that at some point he would get rid of it on his own.

And that time came yesterday. When he got home from school yesterday he went to his room with his pacifier and after nap when he came out he told me, "I want to give my passy to the babies." I was veryyyy skeptical, but said "okay". He was insistent that we cut his passy off (we had tied it to his blanket after we got sick of being awoken in the night to find his pacifier because he couldn't find it!) right then and there and give it to them. I was now shocked! But I cut it off and put it on a high shelf in the pantry room, sure that he would ask for it when he went to bed.

He didn't. And hasn't mentioned it since.

It was that easy. And I am so glad that I didn't have to do anything, that it was his decision. I am also thankful that I made the decision to give him some time. I love it when I make a good decision as a mom!

Works for Me: Preschool Playroom Organization

We are blessed to have a playroom in our house, so the kids can keep all their toys contained to one room and not all over the house. We are also blessed because our playroom has french doors that I can close when it is a disaster and pretend that my house is clean. Unfortunately we are not blessed with children who jump up and down with excitement when I tell them it is time to clean up. Nor am I blessed with a personality that likes to pretend things are clean when they are not. So, when things like trash & junk toys, were just getting thrown into bins and then dumped on the floor the next day it was drives me crazy. The playroom was really becoming a mess.

One day I spent a couple of hours cleaning it out and organizing the toys. I gathered like toys and then made piles of toys that I wanted to keep, toys that we were going to donate and toys that were going to be trashed. The keep pile was significantly smaller than the other 2 piles! I really only kept toys that we collections or that we could add on to.

Then I took pictures of the different toys, had them printed and taped them onto the bins with clear tape. And here is what they look like:



Cleaning up is such a breeze for both my 3 year old and my 5 year old. Okay, I still have to
bribe make them clean, but at least they are more capable of putting things back where they belong. And it is nice when we have friends over because they can help clean up as well.
Works for me! Click here for other great ideas!

Happy Monday!

Need a little something to brighten your day? Well, here's two little somethings:

Aren't they little dolls? There are so many days that I think they look nothing alike and then other days, where at first glance, I can't tell them apart. They are my sweet little baby dolls!! And look at those little feet! They are only in a size 1 shoe. So petite!

At lunch today, with some friends, I was recalling my pregnancy with the twinkies. I didn't really blog much about it because I wasn't up for doing much of anything. (The small bit I wrote can be found here.) I was so incredible sick, frequently at the hospital, unable to take care of the boys and depressed. And then when I was no longer sick, I was so huge and uncomfortable! And Joseph was gone all the time...what a hard time in my life. During the really hard days, when I thought that I could handle no more, I thought about the "joy set before me". And now I look back and realize that I could never have imagined what joy these two little girl's would bring to my life. We all adore them and are completely captivated by them when they smile.

Twins are so much fun and I highly recommend them! Below is a picture of Ella showing some love to her sister and Lily Kate not too sure she wants any love. Don't worry mom, no one was harmed while I was taking this picture!!

Way more than you are really interested in hearing about...

I have been keeping a secret from you... And I'm only going to tell you if you promise to stand up and applaud my efforts. Are you standing? Okay, here goes..I've lost 10 pounds since New Years!! Are you so excited for me or what?! And because I am a perpetual pessimist (so my Lovey calls me "pp", but I pretend it means pretty princess...) I must also tell you that I still have 23 pounds to go. So close, yet so far away.

So, have you ever tried Nabisco's 100 calorie pack? Well, let me tell you that they are gooood! And absolutely perfect for after a meal, when I am desperate for some chocolate and can't have Reese peanut butter cups. Only problem...when you eat 3 packages in one sitting, they are no longer 100 calorie packs. FYI. Most of you probably already figured that out. It took me a little while.

This morning I took care of my friend Kellie's kids. Oh yeah baby, all-by-myself! Me and SIX kids hangin' out on a Saturday morning. I was all talkin' it up in my head, to Joseph, about how I could handle two more. Oh yeah baby. Sab Mad - mother to six! Not only was I taking care of 6 kids, I changed 7 poopy diapers, fed everyone breakfast and lunch, mopped my kitchen and the entry floors, vacuumed the entire house, cleaned the fridge out and did 2 loads of laundry. Can I get an Amen super mom?!

As my inner dialogue was high fiven', chest bumping and acting like I just finished a triathlon, it all came crashing down and reality set in... Luke locked Titan Dog in my bedroom and I couldn't get the door opened, the girls started screaming bloody murder, the little kids escaped out the back and the neighbor kid told Caleb that Titan was going to die if we didn't call the police, so he was unrelentingly begging me to dial 911. All that coupled with the fact that I told Love last night that I made the executive decision to hire cleaning people to come and clean this house every other week because I am overwhelmed... Yeah, he's not letting me have anymore. Wise man.

I told 2 of my friends to drop off their kids because I was already watching Kellie's kids and would be home. And they just laughed at me. Seriously, people think I'm crazy when I offer to watch their kids, but it's really not a big deal. After you have 3 (not that I know this for sure since I only had 3 for 3 minutes), okay maybe 4, what is one more? Or 2 more, or 3 more... And sometimes it's easier because 1 other child in the house breaks up the drama that the boys have. Maybe I should open a daycare?... THAT would be crazy.

Back to Crazy

After a very rough start to the week, things are significantly better around the Mad House. I would say that we are back to "normal" but there is no such thing as "normal" in a house with 4 children, 5 and under.

Lovey worked 15 hours today and I manged to take the kids to Lowes, Walmart and the dollar store kids by myself. We also had baths tonight and I made 4 pizza's -freezing 3 of them- before Joseph got home. (I am exhausted, but will blog some of the funny stories from our adventures tomorrow.) Caleb and I had some arts and crafts action today and Luke and I went on a safari in the back yard. The girls were feeling much better by the evening and are so yummy I could eat them! Yep, it was a delicious day!

Thanks for your prayers, emails and comments. The encouragement was needed and much appreciated.

Works For Me - Backwards Style

I don't usually participate in these, but Shannon over at Rocks in My Dryer does this thingy called Works for Me Wednesday. Today is backwards edition, so instead of me giving you my oh-so-brilliant advice, I'm begging for yours.

Here is the problem...over the past 5 1/2 years I have taken thousands of pictures of my kiddos. Thousands. And our desktop has reached it's limits. Actually it reached it's limits a couple of months ago, but I thought that it would change it's mind. It hasn't. So I have a couple of hundred pictures on my camera that I need to download, with no place to do so.

I have gone through and deleted some pictures off the hard drive and that freed up some space, but not enough to even download what is on my camera. Almost all of my pictures have been uploaded to Snapfish, some have been copied to an external hard drive and some have been copied to CD. But I am still not feeling confident about the organization or storage of my most precious possessions (after my kids, family, friends, bible...you get the drift). And the BIG question is after I have them backed up somewhere else, do I delete them off my hard drive?!? The thought makes me SO nervous!

Puleeze help a girl out and give me some ideas of how you store and organize all the photo's on your computer. I would be ever so grateful. Then after you have helped this not-so-tech-savy girl. Go on over here to see if there are any other questions you can help a sista' out with!

Thanks (super big air kiss!)...

I will survive!

Alrighty people, after mucho tears today I am feeling quite a bit better. I needed a good throw-myself-on-the-floor-so-I-can-kick-scream-rant-and-rave about how hard my life is currently. And now I am glad to move on pass that moment. I know that I'm not completely out of the funk, but I'm at least on the other side.

We really should have expected this. We went from Joseph working 8 hours a week to him being gone 60 hours a week. That is an adjustment. He is so helpful around here and works hard so that I don't have to. He helps me out with everything. So, when he is gone his presence is missed. By all of us.

So we are back to reality and I need to focus on the bright side of things. He isn't deployed. He isn't gone all the time like he has been for the past year and a half. He isn't pulling call this month. He doesn't have to study during the limited time he is home.

And, I've done all this by myself for weeks at a time. I can do it. I need to stop doubting myself and be a big girl. I have 4 gorgeous kiddos, that are a lot of work and exhausting at times. But they are also funny, bring me so much joy and show me lots of grace. And when Joseph is gone he is praying for me.

Calgon...Take Me Away!

It has been a terrible day. Awful. But before I tell you about how terrible my day has been - and it's only 11am - I must first tell you about the preceding days, so that you can really feel my pain.

I have had this terrible mom-cold that started a week ago. I say, "mom-cold" so that you do not confuse this with a "man-cold"! The mom-cold is a full out terrible cold that lasts longer than it should because her job never ceases and there is no one to relieve her so that she can rest and get better. The house work still continue, the children still need to be fed and the diapers... yes, they have no sympathy for the mom-cold. On the other hand, the man-cold is barely a sniffle that requires lots of rest, bemoaning and pampering. A man-cold takes an average man and turns him into a 10 year old boy that needs his mom. Now, I am not going to name names, but I have had personal experience with a man who has had a man-cold.

As usual, I digress... I got this killer mom-cold but lucky for me, my mama was coming into town. She understands the mom-cold, not only understands but came with the remedy for the mom-cold: no cooking by the patient, taking care of the patients children and (this is the important one!) shopping. After she left on Sunday I was feeling much better. Not 100%, but lots better than before she got here.

Then Joseph started his new rotation and it is a bad one. 12 hour days, 6 days a week with some "mandatory fun" thrown in there to really make me mad. In case you are wondering, this weeks mandatory fun was going to a bar to play craps. Well, that's a bunch of crap to me!

To top that off, my washing machine broke. On one hand, I'm thrilled! I hate doing laundry. On the other hand, as the laundry piles up my heart starts having palpitations! Words cannot express how much laundry I do in this house, but I'm sure you remember this. Lovey tried to "fix" it last night (fixing usually involves tinkering, dismantling and then kicking it) without much success. So we have to buy a new one.

Then today I wake up and during my quiet time I ask God to teach me to show patience and self-control to my children through my actions. And boy did he give me lots of opportunities this morning - all of which I failed. And not just failed, but failed miserably. The girls woke up sick and everything I asked the boys to do they did the opposite of. And the word "everything" is not an exaggeration. I spent most of the morning getting irritated and fussing at them. Caleb felt so sad he didn't want to go to school. Ugh. I hate when I get this way. I fail way more than I succeed. And my kids are the ones that suffer from my failures.

I need grace today Lord, and I really hope that I get out of this funk that I'm in...

Livin' in the middle

Big struggle: How do I live in the world without becoming worldly? I'm not sure where middle ground lies. My pendulum swings back and forth and has found no middle ground. I want to sell all my belongings, move to a country where I would live on dirt floors and help, teach and love on the poor. That's how I feel on Monday. By Wednesday, I am trying to figure out how to get Joseph a flat screen TV for graduation, get the girlie's summer wardrobe from Gymboree and sign the boys up for every activity under the sun. Excess.

As I look around my house all I see is excess. Yet, I still want more. Bigger, newer, better. And then the guilt sets in and the pendulum swings back to "let's sell everything and move". I hate that about myself. And I hate that is what I am teaching my children.

This is only going to get harder. Joseph makes less money now than he will ever make again. How many people can say that? Obviously anything can happen, but assuming that he remains healthy, then we are now making less than we ever will again. Not only are we making less, our pay will just continue to increase - significantly over the next 3 years. And that scares me. I don't want to keep up with the Jones's (or is it Joneses?). I want to go to my friends big houses, admire that are decked out in Pottery Barn and Crate and Barrel, and come home to my Target crib and feel grateful for what I have. I don't want catalogs coming to my house enticing me to covet. I want to be thankful for my small, yet comfy house that is lived in. And learn to be okay with the fact that I don't have the nicest, newest - stuff. Because I am blessed with what I do have. And it's good to want. If I didn't want, then I wouldn't have to learn what it is to be content.

And I think that's where my pendulum needs to stop. Maybe middle ground is contentment. God saw fit to give me four gorgeous kids, an amazing hubby with an exciting career ahead of him and a desire to love on the poor and broken. I need to find opportunities around me to fulfill my desires. I need to learn to love living within our means and be thankful for all the blessings that Father has showered on me!

I'm a strugglin' with these things and I'm thankful for that. And I'm thankful for friends to share my struggles with. Thanks for the pep-talk y'all!

Dailt

Moments at the Mad House

I've not been a very good blogger lately. It's not because there isn't anything going on, there is so much going on it has been hard to find a few minutes to write about it.

I know I told you that Joseph was working only 20 hours a week, but I was lying. He actually works 8. Yep, no typo, 8 hours a week. We have had so much fun having him home. When he returns to more normal hours next week, I will be going through some serious withdraw of my third, fourth and fifth hands! He really is so wonderful and I have gotten so much scrappin' done. I so wish that he could find a career where he only worked 10 hours a week and loved his job. Very wishful thinking..

The kids are all okay. We have all had some crud that we have been passing around. Currently, Ella and I have the crud right now. And we are very vocal about it! Luke had fever over the weekend and was feeling really bad. Lucky for all of us, he is feeling better.

Caleb was intently coming his hair in my bathroom yesterday, while I was brushing my teeth, and I watched him for a few minutes thinking about how grown up he looks these days. I go next Monday to register him for school and am feeling quite nostalgic about him going and leaving me and growing up. (I actually cried today when I was reading his list of school supplies - I know, I need help.) So on the way to school we had the following conversation:

Me: Caleb, I love you.
CJM: I love you too Mommy.
Me: Do you know why I love you?
CJM: (silence) Because I'm your first baby and that makes me special?
Me: (chuckle) Well, that's one reason...Why else do you think I love you?
CJM: (silence) Because I have been obeying lately?
Me: (full out laugh) Well, I love you even when you don't obey, but is sure is sweet when you do! I love you because God chose you, out of all the boys in the whole world, to be my baby! Isn't that cool?
CJM: Yeah, but did you know that police cars have special locks inside them to keep the bad guys from getting out?

I guess that was the end of our moment...

That was then and this is now...

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Oh, how I love my men!

The boys have an alarm clock in their room that is set for 7:45 am. Please make no mistake in thinking that they sleep until then! The alarm clock is merely an indicator to let the boys know that they are allowed to leave their room without Mommy Dearest losing her mind because they are interupting her "personal time".

The other day Caleb comes bursting into my room, as usual, at 7:45:15 with his flight suit on. He stops in the middle of my room and stands there staring at me. After a few seconds of a staring contest, I finally gave in and said, "Good morning Caleb". To which he responded, "Guess what I did to Lukie?" (An...interesting phrase for a big brother to say.) He then motions to Luke to come in the room and Luke comes in with Caleb's old flight suit on. He looked adorable and proud. Caleb saluted him and Luke saluted back. Where is the stinkin' video camera at when I need it?

Luke and Caleb wore their matching flight suits to school. Below is a picture of that they wanted to take with their Daddy before he took them to school.

And then this next picture is a total Luke pose! That kid is a nut!

Livin' it up!

It has been a glorious January and February around the Mad house. Joseph did a Plastic Surgery rotation last month that had really good hours and this month he is doing Research and works about 20 hours a week! That's right, 20 hours a week!! And that would be a high estimate! It has been glorious, just glorious!

We haven't had him home this much since our Minot days, when he worked 7:30-4:30 (m-f) and came home every day for lunch. I was so spoiled and I didn't even know it. Those were the days. I had a rude awakening when we started med school, but even that didn't prepare me for last year when he worked 90 hours a week. It was terrible. And I was so sick, pregant with twins, then he was out of town all the time and then I had the twins and he was still going out of town...yeah, I'm already getting anxiety thinking about all that. Before we moved to Maryland I had never been away from Joseph for longer than 6 days. Now, I know what it's like to have him gone for 6 weeks! So yeah, I think we deserve this little hiatus from the real world. We will be back to it soon enough!

Since he is home so much, I am getting quite a bit done. I have started scrapbooking again and love it! I have this new craft table that folds in itself to become a cute side table. I'm getting a lot done and having so much fun doing it! I have also been able to go to the gym, run errands and Joseph and I are going on lots of "dates" together.

Joseph has been hanging out a lot with the boys too. They have been doing some "male bonding" activities weekly. Last week he took them to Chuck E Cheese, a place where all my boys love. That really is a great "boy hangout" - they get to play video games, drink soda and win prizes. They love it! Luke used to just stick tokens in the machines, and was thrilled to do that, but Joseph said that now he actually plays the games and has a couple favorites.

Today they put the tent up and are camping out. And boy, are they excited. Caleb is wearing his hunting gear and Luke is even decked out in camo! We are going to try to have a movie night tonight with the kids and let them watch our home videos. We all love that!

I wish I had pictures of all these events, but my camera is broken! I'm not sure how long I can go without a camera...

Anyway, this is a nice "calm" before next years "storm"!

Our 9 month old sistas!

It's that time again! My girls turn 9 months old today! And as I say every month, I can't believe it...they are growing up way too fast! We are all having so much fun with these little girlies! Here is the latest on their little lives:

• They are STILL sleeping in the same crib. I know, last month I said that this would be the last month, but I just can't seem to split them up. They aren't hurting each other and lately, when we go in after nap, they are right next to one another. They have been sleeping together for 9 months now and I'm afraid that they will be lonely when we split them up. This may be the last month though...
• The little girlies are just that - little! I haven't had them weighed in the last couple of weeks, but when we went in, when they were sick, they didn't even weigh 14 pounds! We will go in this month for a check up to make sure that they are okay. They are thin, but long. Boy, I wish someone could say that about me!
• They are very ticklish...especially Ella.
• They are both completely smitten with Caleb. When they hear his voice they immediately turn to find him and once they see him they break out into the biggest grins! And Caleb is definitely in love with them. He calls them "princesses". Is that the cutest?! Luke asks if can take them to nap with him. That thought is frightening!
• They aren't crawling yet. This makes me sad, but Joseph is just fine with that. I think the idea of chasing the two of them around (while chasing down Luke and Caleb) is enough to make him very nervous! And he's not the nervous type!
• Their personalities are really starting to come through...and they are VERY different. Lily is more fragile, doesn't like strangers, won't let anyone she doesn't know hold her, cries when strangers try to talk to her, eats very danitily, babbles in a high pitch voice, sucks her thumb and giggles. Ella babbles in a low, growling voice, yells at strangers, eats like...well, you've seen pictures of that, will let anyone hold her, sucks 2 of her fingers backwards and belly laughs. They are pretty opposite!
• Ella is looking more like Luke and Lily looks more like Caleb.
• They sleep 12 hours at night and take 2 - 2 and a half hours naps. They are still cat-napping right before dinner for an hour.
• I am still nursing them, but this may be my last month. They wiggle around, are easily distracted and are getting harder to nurse. I'm, shockingly enough, actually really sad that this may be it!
• They love to be outside and love to take rides in the car and their stroller. That's good because they are in both very often!
• Neither like to be on their stomachs. Lily will rollover immediately and Ella flops around and complains.
• They aren't interested in drinking out of a cup much at all. I'd really like them to drink out of a cup before I quit nursing them.
• They are actually pretty good eaters. I'm just not sure where they put all the food! Green foods are still not their favorite, but they will eat them if camoflauged with carrots.

I was cleaning out my email inbox and ran across an email that I wrote to my close friends the night that we found out we were pregnant with twins. Re-reading that email brought tears to my eyes. I sounded so overwhelmed, tired and sick. And I was. And now I can't even begin to imagine how different life would be without my baby girls. They complete our little family. We are all in love with them and feel so blessed to have them in our lives!

A post worth reading...

There are many blogs that I like to read and among them is the very popular Shannon at Rocks in My Dryer. She's funny, hosts awesome giveaways (I know, I should have shared them with you, but then my chances of winning decrease!) and she is an awesome writer.

She has been one of the lucky bloggers who have been selected to blog her experiences in Uganda for Compassion. Her post yesterday was beautiful and made me cry. Go read it. Go on. If it doesn't propell you to action, I don't know what will!

Men of little words!

We went to open gym today, at a gymnasium close to our house, with some friends and the kids had a blast! Often our playgroups are with kids Luke's age and younger and Caleb never really has anyone his age to play with. In some ways that has been good because it means that he plays with Luke and their brother bond gets stronger. I do feel sorry for him at times, though, because he does need kids his age to hang around with. It's just hard to find kids that both he and I like and are a good example for him to hang around.

Today he got a special treat and a new friend of his got to come with us. This friend is his age, comes from a home school family and - the best part is - this little boy is being raised by parents who love Jesus and teach him about Jesus. Caleb and his friend had so much fun playing together and this child was so easy to have around. While we were driving to the gym, the following is a conversation that I heard in the backseat:

Austin (Caleb's friend): I'm a Christian...are you a Christian?
Caleb: Yeah, I'm a Christian. I love God.
Austin: Yeah, so do I.

And then they moved on to fire truck sirens. Now if that isn't an example of men sharing their faith, I don't know what is?!?

Love, Love, Love

All we need is love!

Happy Valentine's Day! It has been a delicious one around here. Joseph and I had a lunch date at Pappadeaux's and it was delicious and delightful! We also have a babysitter tonight, so are going out again! Two dates in one day...does it get any better than that?! Joseph got me an awesome Valentine gift that will be revealed in a couple of days here on my blog!

The boys had a Valentine party at school today and came home with lots of loot. Luke loves to say, "Happy Balentimes" because he has figured out that when he says that someone is usually handing him some candy too!

When I woke up this morning I was thinking about the people I love and thought about our sponsor children, Hashakimana and Happy. I was trying to remember how long we have been sponsoring them. It started at a Caedmon's Call (my favorite!!!) and Jars of Clay concert. They had a whole table of kids from Compassion International that needed sponsor families. Joseph chose one boy and I chose one too. It has been amazing watching them grow and getting letters from them over the past 5 years. We haven't been the best at writing them even though Compassion makes is SO easy through their website. We have gotten better after the past letter that Hashakimana wrote to us "thanking us for chosing him as our son". How sweet is that? We would someday love to go and meet our boys in Uganda. We get letters from them where they tell us how they are doing and what they are learning at church.

I love that these boys of ours whom we haven't met, but prayed for many years are learning about Jesus and his love for them. Compassion is an amazing organization that I can't speak highly enough about! We have friends that work there and they testify to the fact that Compassion has a desire to reach these impoverished children, help them and their families, and share Jesus Christ with them. Compassion and our sponsor boys have blessed us in many ways. They have taught us how blessed we are here in the US. Our sponsor boys have also taught us a lot about prayer. They frequently ask for prayers for their crops and rain. They are so thankful for the small monetary gifts that we send them and their families. They also share scripture verses and songs they learn. Our small financial promise to Compassion is changing lives - ours and theirs.

This month is "Compassion Blog Month" and they have 15 bloggers in Africa right now blogging their experience. If you are interested in sponsoring a child it is so easy and not expensive. Go to Compassions website for more information on how you can help a child learn about Jesus!

Ella, Ella, Ella

Seriously, Look at this little girlie! Ella cracks us up when it comes to eating. I really hope her table manners improve before she starts dating!! Bless her heart, she just is a MESS when she eats. Food everywhere! E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E! And when she gabs the cheerios, she goes for all of them - at once. And then tries to shove them in her mouth all at once. And ends up with most of them on her face. She is so cute!! I can't stand it!!