Fatter, Dumber and Crazier

(I know dumber isn't a word and I really don't like the way it looks written out, but it does describe my current state!)


Fatter:
I am so blessed with the greatest friends.  Really.  I cherish them, value them and love them and tell people all the time that I have the most amazing friends.  They are all also beautiful.  Really.  I seriously don't have an ugly friend.  Now that I think about it, that's kinda weird.  Anyway, I'm digressing - They are all beautiful, smart, Godly, wives, mothers and friends.  So what does that have to do with the title of this?  Thanks for asking me and keeping me on task.  They also are amazing cooks.  They watch cooking shows, love PWC and always bring amazing dishes to potlucks.  And they also have been bringing over meals for us.  Good meals.  With desserts. Yummy desserts.  Very yummy desserts. 
So, here I am stuck in bed, bored, unable to exercise and really unable to do anything outside of my oh-so-exciting hourly walks to the other side of the house.  And on these very exciting walks, I walk past the kitchen.  And remember that there is yummy food brought by perfect, beautiful friends (who are all also thin and able to exercise -WITCHES!).  And so I indulge.  Therefore may possibly be undoing all the hard work that I, along with the help of my plastic surgeon, have done to this body.  I may see lipo in my future.  And maybe a Brazilian butt lift.  I can see how the plastic surgery thing could become addictive!

Dumber:
With all this extra time on my hands and Vicodin in my system, I have been watching a lot of television.  A LOT.  Yesterday I watched 4 hours of Bridezilla.  And was decidedly dumber for doing so.  I have, however, found a show that made me laugh so hard, I had to turn the channel and take another Vicodin because my stomach hurt so bad from all the laughing.  Have y'all seen Flipping Out?  Dude, this guy is...crazy!!
Which brings me to my next point...

Crazier:
I'm not really a sit around kinda girl.  I think that this is the longest that I have been in the house without anywhere to go or anything to do since...  Yeah, I'm going to be crazier than I was before.  Frightening.  And speaking of frightening, since I can't watch anything that makes me laugh (because laughing SERIOUSLY hurts) I'm stuck watching murder, mystery shows.  And thought to myself last night:  "What if being home and together so much, J finally can't take anymore of my insanity (and my begging him to wash my hair every day!!) and kills me while I'm sleeping?  Then blames it on an overdose of Vicodin!"  See...crazier!!