A couple of weeks ago I needed to run some errands and took Caleb with me. Sometimes to get some one on one with the kids I will take them to run errands with me and they actually love going. I love taking them because I usually get some great conversations with them and can really get a heart check.
This time was Caleb's turn and I had a little shopping to do, so he came with. While we were shopping the stores all had their Christmas stuff out and I said, "I love Christmas, it's my favorite time of the year!" All of a sudden I was surprised when I saw Caleb crying some very sad tears. I pulled him to the side and asked him what was wrong. He initially said his usual, "nothing." But, as usual, I'm not about to leave it at that. After some hugging, holding and persistence he finally told me what was wrong.
"I like Christmas, but it makes me sad," he said.
"Why does it make you sad?! Jesus is born! That should make you happy!"
Caleb said, "But Jesus was born so that he could die and that makes me sad."
My heart stopped.
And then I started crying. Tears of sadness, joy, excitement, love...
My boy "gets it". At his sweet age of 7, he gets a profound truth that took me many, many, many years to understand. Simple, profound truth.
Jesus was born so that he could die so that I could go to heaven.
"Gosh, Caleb, isn't it amazing that God loves us that much?!"
I tell this story, not to write about what a great mom I am because I fail more often than I succeed. Nor do I tell this to say that I have the most amazing 7 year old on the planet (although I do!) because he is sinful, selfish and seven.
I tell this story because it is a testament that God works in spite of us. In spite of my disobedience, insecurities, selfishness and sin God is working in the life of my boy. God is working in the life of MY boy!! He IS filling in all the gaps left by me. He sent his boy to die for my boy because he love Caleb and I that much.
And because of Caleb I will look at that manger so differently this year.
Thank you, Holy God, for my boy and all that you are teaching me through these beautiful babies of mine. Thank you for loving me so much that you found a way for me to be with you forever. I'm so sorry that it had to be your son. And I am so sorry for the times that I forget the sacrifice that was made for me. It's amazing Lord, I have nothing to offer you. And what I do have is so tainted. But you don't care and you still want me. Amazing grace. I love you Father.
The YouTube video below is of the song that the kids and I rock out to on the way to school in the mornings. When we get to the part where it says, "Don't be afraid for in three days you will rise again, (this is where we turn it up really loud and shout!) YOU WILL RISE AGAIN!"