Thursday, May 31, 2012

I want to be a Jesus Freak, but instead I'm a Control Freak

I leave in 4 days.

For Africa.

So, what am I doing in the days leading up to my 2 week odyssey?  Oh, you know, important things like:  cleaning out closets, cleaning under sinks, making hair bows for my girls, organizing clothes, making summer schedules for the kids, room-mom projects, researching birthday party options for Caleb, going through papers that have been sitting in a pile for months…

Basically any and every little thing I can find to do other than get ready for this trip and controlling every little thing around me.  And I mean every.little.thing.  Because that's what I do when I feel out of control.  Find something to control.

(sigh)


I have nothing packed.  And a ton to pack.  And I am totally overwhelmed...

With the idea of leaving my kids.

With the amount I have to fit into the smallest space.

With all that I “need” for 2 weeks away in a foreign land.

With the idea of traveling with a bunch of stranger to an environment I’ve only seen in movies.

With the details of leaving the kids for 2 weeks.

With leaving JMad – my comfort, security, sounding board and most days lifeline.

With not working out for 2 weeks.

With being out of control

With being out of my element.

With having to trust God.


Other than that, I’m really excited about this trip.


3 comments:

Karen said...

I'll be praying for you.

Esquire's Wife said...

Praising God for your willingness to go and for the harvest to be plentiful! Praying for you!

Esquire's Wife said...

Praising God for your willingness to go and for the harvest to be plentiful! Praying for you!