Over the past couple of weeks I have tried to blog, but can't seem to be able to nail down my very incohesive thoughts into written words. This is the first time in all my years of blogging that I am having a hard time with what to say. And I'm not sure why.
Perhaps it's because I'm so tired at the end of my day that it borders on ridiculous. Joseph's schedule has been nutty and the poor man has been working non-stop over the past couple of weeks. That's hard.
My poor Valentine. He hasn't had a day off in more than 3 weeks and when he is home he is so tired that he might as well not be here because he is too tired to think. He is in bed by 9pm, up at 4am, at the hospital by 5am, and home...whenever he gets here. It's been hard. On all of us. Have I mentioned that yet?
Thankfully, my mama came on Friday night to give me some help. And let me tell you her plane didn't arrive a moment too soon because as I was circling the airport, on the phone with her while she was waiting on the tarmac, I was melting down. And she did what moms do: stepped in and took care of all of us. She let me nap, held babies, played with kids, told stories, made up games, made me laugh, sent me away for time by myself and fed us good! When she left, I felt refreshed. I'm not afraid to admit that I still need my mom. Thanks mama for being such a blessing to me!
Love was on-call on V-Day, which in hindsight wasn't so bad (especially since my mama was here). He actually got off good celebrating the day after. Flowers and cards are 50% off and it is way less crowded. It was a low key celebration since he was post-call, but it was good to spend some time -away from the kids- with my best friend and catch up.
Life has been busy around here for the past couple of months. I feel like I am on this merry-go-round that is moving fast, but I have good grip and am hanging on. Hanging on until that next ______ happens and then life will slow down. Fill the blank in with parties, Thanksgiving, parties, Christmas, birthdays, baby showers, newsletters, socials, Mother's of Multiples sales...whatever. I find myself always saying, "As soon as ____ is over life will calm down." But the truth is something else swoops in and takes its place.
And while part of me is exhausted by it all, another part of me is exhilarated. I thrive on a full plate. With that said, though, I am at a place where I want to slow down -just a little- and breathe and enjoy the scenery of my amazing life. I don't want to miss out on the small things because I love to hurry. And I don't think I am.
Caleb and I had this amazing discussion the other day. We were laying on the couch talking and he said, "Do you know why I was kinda sad today?"
"No, why?" I asked.
"Because my teacher told me the story of the rich man and Lazarus. And Lazarus begged on the side of the road for food and dogs would lick his sores. And Lazarus friends took him to the rich mans house where he asked him for the scraps off his table and the rich man was mean and selfish and told him no. Then Lazarus died and went to heaven and the rich man died and went to hell."
"And what did you think about that story?" I asked.
"I thought it made me sad and I almost cried at school."
"What made you sad?"
"It made me sad that there are people who don't have food. And that the dogs licked Lazarus sores. And that there are children who go to bed hungry." Then he asked, "Will you pray for them?"
Oh, my little love.
So we both cried and prayed for those kids that don't have moms and dads and those children that go to bed hungry. It was a moment I'll cherish forever. My boy is becoming more compassionate and able to look outside of his own world. My prayers are being answered.
My prayer for today is that while I am on this merry-go-round of life, that I don't miss those moments. Those are the moments that keep me fueled, give me hope and remind me of my purpose. Raising Oaks of Righteousness...