I figured that since I have brought you into my drama, I should at least give you an update on how my dad is doing. I have been thinking about writing this post for a couple of days now, I just haven't been sure of what to say. There is so much to say, but at the same time I feel out of words.
My dad was let out of the hospital on Wednesday night and returned back home. My step-mom has put the divorce on hold and wants to try to work things out with my dad. My dad will be getting lots of therapy and the doctors are changing his medications. I want to believe that all of these things will be the catalysts for change and that things are going to be different, but I don't believe that. Years of experience won't let me believe that.
My emotions have ranged from deeply saddened to completely furious over this whole situation and at my dad. I don't really want to talk to him. I don't have anything new to say. Joseph reminds me that I can't apply logic and reason to someone who has mental illness. Every time I get mad at him, I feel justified and then that feeling is closely followed by guilt for being angry at someone who is so sick.
I have lots to figure out. Boundaries are at the top of the list. I'm not good with setting boundaries and this situation is forcing me to learn how. Another thing that I need to learn is to unconditionally love my dad. Both are going to take time and both will take God.
Yeah, so that's the update. I love your prayers and covet them.