Easter Egg hunt at church

There were some baby chicks and baby bunnies for the kids to pet/hold. Caleb, my animal lover, was so excited and it was hard to get him away from his new little friend!
Luke and his very best buddy, Luke, were side by side on the easter egg hunt.
Ella and her loot

Lily and her loot. She was much more interested in opening the few eggs she had and eating the candy than doing any hunt.
The best buddies! These two really are amazing together. They stick together like glue, never fight and can play together for hours - just the two of them. Luke's best friend is moving to Korea this summer and it's going to be hard on all of us!

Happy Easter!

This one is for you mom...

(I have tons of pictures from our Easter celebrations that I will post later!)

That's My King - He is RISEN!

Unfortunately this is what happens when you smuggle paraphernalia into your crib...

...your hairbrush gets stuck in your hair, wakes you up from nap and leaves you in a very sad state for the rest of naptime! Lesson learned...right Ella?

We have another blogger in the family

So, I log on to blogger to post an entry and I see that there has been activity on Caleb's blog. Apparently he has things to say. And apparently we need to revisit the 'I must have permission to use the computer' rule!!


BTW - it's 2:52am. How painful do you think tomorrow is going to be for me?!?

Only water refreshes

One of my favorite times of the day happens at 8:20 in the morning and is the time we are all in the car taking Caleb to school. (Lets make it clear that the time leading up to that is crazy busy. Getting all 4 kids dressed, fed and in the car by 8:10, exhausts me!) The boys are in the back chatting and laughing and the girls are in front of them babbling happily and eating dry cereal. It's such a sweet time - having all 4 of my babies with me.

When we arrive to school and are waiting in the drop off lane, I love hearing Caleb point out all his friends and Lukie is always so interested in hearing about them. As Caleb gets out of the car, I tell him I love him and say something about being a "light". "Go be a light in a dark world" or "Shine bright for Jesus" or something like that. Then the sisters and Luke all start yelling goodbye. Every morning. Same routine.

A couple of weeks ago, after dropping Caleb off and doing our normal morning routine, we were on our way home when Luke says, "Why do you tell Caleb to be a light?" I explain what it means to be a light and how God calls all of us to be lights. He was quiet for a moment and then said, "Why don't you tell me that when you take me to school?" Adorable child. I reminded him that when I drop him off at school he bolts out of the van to be with his friends and that he doesn't even hear me yelling, "I love you!" He replied, "Well, I want you to tell me to be a light." No problem, sweet boy. Nothing would bring me more joy!

Now, here is where I interject to tell you that I have really been having a hard time as a mom lately. Joseph has been gone a lot. Last month he was out of town and the couple months before that his hours have been terrible. This month is more of the same. He doesn't get to spend much time with the kids and he hates it, I hate and the kids really hate it. So, most of the stuff around here falls on my shoulders. It's really hard and I don't always do well. At all.

For the past couple of weeks I have felt like a failure at this calling I take more seriously than anything else - being a mama. I often feel like I am in a fire and instead of being refined, I am melting. I'm not the mom I want to be, I don't get the breaks I need to be the mom I want to be and we are in a very hard season in life. I feel empty, I feel dry, I feel overwhelmed and I feel like a failure.

And then I cry out to Jesus. Why is that always my last resort? And thank you Jesus that you don't get angry that I make you my last resort, but you wait patiently for my cry. And you pour ice cold water down this tired, parched mama's throat.

When Luke got off the school bus yesterday I was waiting for him on the porch. I asked him how his day was and he said good. Then he said, "I got a light."

I said, "Where did you get a light from?" He said, "No, I got a light."

"I heard, but what kind of light did you get?" I said.

He looks at me and says, "No, I got a light like you tell Caleb." Cold water starts pouring. "Oh," I said. "You were a light?"

"Yeah, I was a light today!"

Oh, sweet Jesus, thank you for those moments. Those are cold water, moments of grace that push this weary mama through. They remind me not to wait so long to call on you and they remind me that your grace is sufficient and you will fill in the gaps. The gaps left by my failures, Daddy's absence and lifes injustices. Your grace is more than sufficient for those gaps.



O God, you are my God;
I earnestly search for you.
My soul thirsts for you;
my whole body longs for you
in this parched and weary land
where there is no water.
~Psalm 63:1

To procreate or to not procreate, has been the question

All my friends here are having babies these days. Seriously, in my little group there are 10 of us. And of the 10, SIX (count them SIX) have had a baby since the beginning of the year. People, that was only 4 months ago!!

Yeah, when we get together we need a parking spot for all the carriers. Anyway I thought that seeing all these new babies would make me crave one of my own.

And guess what?

IT SOOOOO DOESN'T!!!

They are very cute and all, but all I think when I see them is, "Man, I'm so glad that we are past all that!" Little diapers, spit up, nursing, middle of the night feedings, baby wearing, yellow poop, burping...NO THANK YOU. Oh, mercy, I am so not there. Thank you, Jesus. Really. Thank you.

With that said, I'm also not ready for Big Joe to get the Big "V". That seems soooo final. I am glad, though, that I am (I say "I" only because big JKM has been at this point for quite some time) finally moving in a direction of feeling that our little family is complete.

2 boys (close in age), 2 girls (twins). Hmmm. Why mess with perfection?

Hehe, then Caleb comes up to me today and informs me that he thinks we should adopt a baby. He hasn't made up his mind on boy or girl, but definitely thinks it would be "cool" to adopt another baby.

I don't think the "cool" factor will be weighing in very heavily on our decision.

Mad Craziness

Has it really been a week since I last visited you, my little 'ole blog? What can I say? I'm not sorry. I've been too busy living life to write much about it.

Joseph is home and he didn't arrive a moment too soon. We missed him ridiculously. Ridiculously. But my poor man hasn't had much time with us since being back in town. In all honesty, we haven't seen much more of him now than we did when he was out of town. He's on a bad rotation and it is hard on all of us. Really hard.

Okay, enough of that.

The kids and I did pretty well while he was gone. I have a new mantra that I have adopted during my man's absence - "Jesus take the wheel" - and I use it often. Very often. Usually during the moments where I feel like I'm about to lose my mind. And though we did pretty well, there were definitely Jesus take the wheel moments! The kids haven't asked, but I am sure that they are wondering what wheel mama wants Jesus to take.

Keeping busy isn't a problem around here and while Love was gone we were busier than ever. Bible studies, the gym, school field trips, playdates, socials, parties... Yep, we have been busy.

Here is a hodge podge of the Mad life:

Soccer started back up and while soccer is a pain for me, I'm more than willing to sacrifice because the boys love it so much. Caleb has a new team and a friend from school is on his team. He wants to work on 'not being afraid of the ball hitting him in the face' this season. I think that's a fabulous goal! Luke is on the same team as he was last fall and scored a goal at his first game last Saturday. That child is quite the little athlete, but I love that he doesn't take it too serious and really is having fun out there.

Caleb really stepped up to the plate while Joseph was gone and was my little helper. That kid is growing up too fast for me. It's nice to have some help and with Joseph being gone a lot of the time, Caleb's help is such a blessing. We were at the store by ourselves the other day and he says to me, "You sure do have your hands full!" I busted out laughing and said, "What made you say that?" He smiled and said, "You just have lots of kids and people tell you that all the time." Sweet boy. I told him that God gave me the perfect number of kids and that I would be so lost if any one of them were away from me. And boy, isn't that the truth!

Luke, who is usually the easiest child, has been the most difficult lately. He is sooo cute and adorable and charming, but also daydreams, has a hard time with follow through and is very absent-minded. I'm trying to figure out the best way to parent a child who has the best of intentions and (more often than not) responds to my requests with excitement and a smile, but never seems to make it to the task that I have asked him to do. I can't tell you how many times we have arrived at our destination, only to realize that Luke forgot to put his shoes on!! Jesus take the wheel!

The sisters are talking so much and getting so big! They grab attention everywhere we go and are so adorable! But, they are also at that hard, independent, "mine!", "NO!" and easily frustrated age. They are so physically exhausting for me, but man am I smitten with them! Even though they do make me chase them down to change their diaper, wipe their face, buckle them in the car, get them dressed, and the list goes on! Jesus take the wheel!

I lost a couple of pounds, learned quite a bit about myself and God, and started running again while my man was gone. It was a hard month, but God is so gracious. And so are my husband and kids. I'm thankful that they overlook my faults and love me even when I am being SO unlovable! Jesus take the wheel!

FYI - In case you don't know...Jesus Take the Wheel is a Carrie Underwood song and I love in the chorus it says, "Jesus take the wheel, take it from my hands, 'cause I can't do this on my own.." I so connect with those words!

Rodeo, Texas style!

The next couple of posts are catch-up pictures from our Spring Break trip to Houston.

************************************************************

You just don't know rodeo until you have been to the Houston Live Stock Show and Rodeo! They know how to throw-down a ho-down!

I remember growing up going to the HLSR and loved it as a kid, so was quite excited to have the chance to take the kids. It lived up to all my memories and didn't disappoint!

I was trying to get Ella to pet the Llama, but that absolutely wasn't happening! A few minutes after this picture was taken a deer came up to Ella and I and started trying to eat our clothes!! Ella was doing her baby sign for "All Done". I was in total agreement!

Luke with his "joey". I asked him what kind of animal a joey was and he looked pensive for a moment and then replied, "a joey!"

Lily is definitely becoming the braver of our two Beauties!

The rodeo had this really cool Market where the kids milked cows, picked apples, grew corn, ect. and then took their loot to the market where they traded in their basket of goodies for cash. At the last station they could trade their money for a bag of chips, juice box or box of raisins. It was pretty cool!

My sister Sarah and her fiance Drew.

Boys and big toys!

Of all the rides at the carnival, Luke only wanted to ride on this tiger on the carousel.

I wish I would have taken a full picture of this ride. I was super surprised and impressed that Caleb got on by himself! It was fast and went high.

Daddy and Caleb riding the Farris wheel. It went really high.

The pig races were really cool and super cute. All the kids loved watching the pigs and the twins really got into clapping for the pigs!

(soon to be) Uncle Drew and Ella at the pig races.

The little piggy that we took home!

Park

My mom has the best "grandma" house for us to stay at when we come and visit. We all have our own rooms, the kids have closets full of toys, her neighborhood pool is 5 houses down and it has a great baby pool, there is so much to do in her town and she has this amazing park in her backyard. The park has a trail with turtles and a stream, fields, a bike ramp and playground - pure joy for my children!

Here are some pictures of the days we spent at the park:

I love this picture because it is so true to the twins nature - Lily Kate is so willing to have Caleb hold her hand, carry her and take care of her. Ella, not so much. She is independent! And a mama's girl.

This girl LOVES her big brothers. She especially has a close bond with Caleb.

And here is Ella, always on the move!

A typical moment with the Twinkies - one wanting what the other has!

So we distract her while she waits for her turn. She really liked this!

And then, of course, Lily Kate wants her turn!

Ella has always been a little more adventurous than Lily Kate, but the roles have switched as of late.

Looking for 4 leaf clovers and making crowns with flowers.
I love these little people!

Visit with Gigi

I love that my whole family lives in the same city, I just wish that they lives a little bit closer to one another. It takes about 45 min to get to my stepmoms house, but is so worth the drive. The kids love their Gigi, aunts and uncle. Here are some pictures of our time with them. We were at my sisters lacrosse game and I'm so bummed I didn't get any pictures of her playing!

Lily Kate being adventurous. She climbed through this huge maze (by herself & without Ella!) and then was a little hesitant to go down the slide until Aunt Carami came to give her some enouragement.

When with my stepmom and the kids, Joseph and I get lots of time together. I like this picture. While it isn't the best of me, it is one of me really laughing, not some fake smile. Joseph makes me laugh. I heart my man!
Gooey-Luke-McGoo!
Silly Lily Kate. She is so pretty!
Ella and Uncle Mark. She only wanted him to hold her which is unusual because she usually only wants me.
Caleb and Aunt Carami
Ella and her pigtails.

Life is good, but blog posts are sparse

Life sure is exhausting right now. Seriously, I am worn out. I miss Joseph, the kids miss him and it has been really hard having him gone. Really hard. It's always hard with 4 little kids, but this time seems especially hard. I'm not sure if it is the twins being SO active, having had another sweet child around, that the boys are older and need a firm hand and more "Daddy time" or that my plate is full with extra activities outside my home. It just seems harder this time than in the past.

But through all of the hard, God is sure good. He has surrounded me with amazing women who are stepping up to help shoulder some of my burdens. God has placed these women in my life that are authentic and Godly and living life in His presence and helping me to do the same. It's funny because I have always had good friends, but in this season I have rockstar friends. And, boy, is this the season that I need them the most.

God has been revealing strong truth to me. He has been using me, teaching me and growing me. It really has been amazing. I love it! I'm going to share more...at some point.

A really hard, but really incredible time.

I have much to blog about, but not much time (shocking!) so I hope to catch up this weekend. Until then I just wanted you to know that I'm still here. The kids didn't tie me up and take over the house. It wasn't for lack of trying though!

And then there were FIVE!

I have had the privilege (and I'm serious when I say it's a privilege) to watch my amazing friend Emily's little girl, Margaret-Jane, for the past couple of days and it has been so fun!

When I told people that I was watching her they thought I was crazy.

Let me revise that last statement - they thought I was crazier than my normal crazy. Husband gone. Four kids of my own. Yada, yada, yada...

But when Em asked me to pray about doing this, I was so excited. I love Emily and Margaret-Jane. Love them! Margaret-Jane is this delicious, smart, funny, thoughtful, kind, compassionate, and oh-so-stinkin'-adorable little four year old! I love her.

And her mama Emily is a kindred spirit. I only have a few of them in my life and I cherish them with every ounce of my being. Emily is gorgeous, thoughtful, wise and funny. She stretches my understand of God, life and others. God is using her in mighty ways in my life. And I am so thankful to her.

So when the opportunity came to help her out, I was all in! And what fun it has been. The boys love her (Caleb said many times yesterday, "Isn't she so cute?") and the girls always want to hold her hand. Today, while the boys were at school and the girls in nap, MJ and I had a tea party. I had to call Emily ahead of time to ask her what I do to 'have a tea party'? My girlies aren't there yet and heaven knows my boys have NEVER asked to have a tea party! And then I heard Caleb ask her what a "braid" is and why do you need one! That boy is all boy. Yep, it has been a blast having her around!

Thanks, E, for trusting me with your baby!

Look at those dimples!

I see you
The "Guest Sister" - Isn't that a cute name she came up with for herself?!

Another milestone has been reached!

Oh my, we had a big day today!

My firstborn lost his first tooth!! And to say he was excited is the understatement of the year! Here is a picture of him when he came home from school today:

Can you see the missing tooth? I can't either. How 'bout this one:
Weird smile, but a better view!

I interviewed my missing-tooth-child, so if you want to read it you can head on over to his blog (link is on the side). And, just like most bloggers, he loves comments so please leave him some love. It will make his day!

While you are there, please note the background and header that I made for his blog!! If I would have known how much fun it was to design blogs, I would have jumped on that train long ago. I got Photoshop and had a blast playing with it. As soon as I have some time I am looking forward to creating something new for my little 'ole blog! It's time for a makeover!!! This really could get addicting...

Just so you can get a full picture of how crazy my life is...

...I'm going to give you a play-by-play.
Ready?
Go!

6:48am - wake up, look at time and think, "Lord, I woke up too late for a long chat with you, but I have a feeling we'll be talking lots today!"

7 - update my facebook status

7:08 - do my hair, get dressed, slap my face on, make Luke breakfast, tell Luke to get dressed & answer 100 questions from my little kindergartner who is SO excited his mama is coming on his field trip!

7:28 - tell Luke to get dressed

7:32 - make Luke's lunch, remind Luke to get dressed

7:38 - tell Luke if he doesn't get dressed I'm going to lose my mind!

7:42 - start making or putting dry cereal in baggies the girls breakfast and milk

7:45 - look for Luke and (lucky for him) find him dressed, tell Luke to go brush his teeth

7:48 - start dressing the girlies

7:50 - remind Luke to brush his teeth

7:54 - put one very cute baby in the car and tell Caleb to buckle her in, take light sabers away from Luke and threaten him if he doesn't brush his teeth

7:55 - dress the other baby, Luke comes running in with the sweetest face and shiniest teeth

8:00 - put baby in car and ask Caleb to buckle her in

8:05 - back the van out of the driveway while Luke tells me I'm the meanest mom ever (I forgot whay he said that?)

8:17 - drop Caleb off at school

8:30 - get back home, unload kids out of car and sit girls in their highchairs for a "real" breakfast of more dried cereal and a banana

8:45 - clean the kitchen, start a load of laundry, sweep the floor, straighten up the house

9:18 - babysitters arrive!!!

9:26 - unload carseats out of car & Dustbuster the nastiness I found under the car seats (didn't I just clean the car out?!)

9:37 - drop Luke off at friends house

9:54 - arrive at Caleb's school

10:01 - can't find current proof of registration!

10:03 - call usaa and beg for them to fax proof of registration to school

10:12 - load 5 very excited, loud, noisy and very wound up kindergartners into the van

10:47 - arrive at the Magik Theatre after getting lost and being told how to drive by 3 very bossy kindergartners

11:30 - watch a performance of "If you give a Mouse a Cookie" - it was cute!

12:30pm - exit theatre with said 5 very excited, loud, noisy and very wound up kindergartners

1:07 - arrive at a very crowded Chick-fil-a where we wait with, 30 very excited, loud, noisy and very wound up kindergartners, for their food

1:20 - food arrives, kids eat, take over play land and make a mess with ice cream

2:14- leave Chick-fil-a and head back to school

2:30 - drop off 5 very excited, loud, noisy and very wound up kindergartners and pray to God that if I ever have to get a job, it won't be as a kindergarten teacher!!!!!

2:45 - come home and spend some time chatting with my favorite babysitters

3:05 - Caleb comes home from school (he wanted to ride the school bus home!)

3:17 - babysitters leave, girls cry over their departure, I load the carseats back in while my neighbors come over and tell me they have "no idea how you do it with all 4 kids by yourself"

4:01 - finally, have 4 kids and carseats in van

4:09 - arrive at gym

4:15 - boys go to yoga, girls to childwatch and I run/elliptical

5:28 - get the kids and take them to the treehouse to let them play

5:58 - load kids in van

6:12 - drive through Micky D's, listen to Luke complain/beg the whole way home to eat in the car and then tell me that if he doesn't eat, "right now, I'm gonna throw up!" reply, "that's fine, but please be aware that if you throw up you will have to clean up too!"

6:28 - arrive home and feed kids dinner

6:35 - talk to my sister-in-law

6:48 - chase the twins down to get them ready for bed

6:58 - put girls in bed, exhale and think I'm halfway there!!!

7:08 - start boys bath

7:28 - chastise boys for there being more water on the bathroom floor than there is in the tub! wash and shampoo them, while they complain about having to use soap

7:42 - have them call their Daddy to say goodnight

7:54 - say prayers and tuck boys in

7:58 - exhale long and hard

8:02 - get in the shower

8:28 - eat dinner - finally!!

And here I am! Blogging away.

My days are so full. But so is my heart.

I love my life and am so blessed!

And I'm also very tired.

I'm off to bed for another full day tomorrow!!!

Caleb, the author!

Caleb is really becoming quite the writer/illustrator! He has a binder of stories that he has written, then illustrated, and adds more on a daily basis. Below is a picture of one of his drawings - isn't his hand writing impressive for kindergarten? In addition to the stories he writes, he also leaves me love notes all over the house. That boy is so yummy!

And now, here is what I think!

I was tagged in a "note" on Facebook and it was called, "What my kids think..." I had to ask my kids these questions and then write down exactly what they said. I realized after the first question that I was going to have to have Caleb whisper his answers in my ear or Luke was going to just repeat everything Caleb said. Below are their answers and then my thoughts on their answers.


1. What is something mom always says to you?
Caleb - I think you say, um, to be quiet.
Luke - Be quiet & you can not play with colors.
MY THOUGHTS: So I was very surprised by this answer. I even said something like, "Mommy doesn't tell you to be quiet all the time." And the 3 minutes later the boys started getting loud and the diva's were sleeping so I said, "Boys be quiet. Sisters are sleeping." Then I caught myself saying it 15 more times in the course of doing this little questionnaire. Okay, I see their point. And the colors is because he had just gotten in trouble for coloring on things. The van, tables, walls, himself, his sisters...the list goes on. So he is sad he is currently grounded from crayons. I on the other hand am sad that he is 4 and still coloring on everything but paper! Good thing he is so stinkin' cute!

2. What makes mom happy?
Caleb - Me doin' chores with a joyful heart
Luke - When I clean up my room
MY THOUGHTS: Well now that I know they know how to make me happy, I am wondering why they don't want to make me happy more often!

3. What makes mom sad?
Caleb - When I hurt you
Luke - Not cleaning our rooms

4. How does your mom make you laugh?
Caleb - When you say funny things
Luke - Uh, tickling me
MY THOUGHTS: I love that Caleb "gets" my humor. We really do find the same things funny!

5. What was your mom like as a child?
Caleb - Ice Skating
Luke - When you were seven...
MY THOUGHTS: I have no idea what either of these answers mean. No idea what-so-ever.

6. How old is your mom?
Caleb - 32
Luke - 32
MY THOUGHTS: I knew that both my boys would know the answer to this one. They are currently obsessed with age. And LOVE to tell everyone mine!

7. How tall is your mom?
Caleb - 5 '10
Luke - 6'
MY THOUGHTS: I thought this was a good guess on both their parts. They are some smart boys!

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
Caleb - Do your email
Luke - Spank my bottom.
MY THOUGHTS: SPANK MY BOTTOM!!! This was disturbing on so many levels. I explained to Luke that I don't spank him because I like it, but because I have to when he disobeys. Nice to see that he's got the concept of consequences down! Apparently we are going to need to do some remedial training on cause and effect.

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
Caleb - Think about me
Luke - Go work out
MY THOUGHTS: Caleb really does think that the world revolves around him!

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
Caleb - Being the world's bestest diaper changer
Luke - Your shirts
MY THOUGHTS: I do have quite a bit of practice changing diapers!

11. What is your mom really good at?
Caleb - Burping the A,b,c's. Just kidding. Drawing. Now I'm really kidding. Uh, I guess typing.
Luke - Putting your necklace on
MY THOUGHTS: My children have such high thoughts of me!

12. What is your mom not very good at?
Caleb - Burping the A,b,c's
Luke - Combing your hair
MY THOUGHTS: Oh, Luke, you sure know how to flatter a girl! If I knew how to burp the A,B,C's my kids would think I'm the coolest. I may just suprise them...

13. What does your mom do for her job?
Caleb - you watch us.
Luke - Comb your hair
MY THOUGHTS: I like how I just "watch" the kids. Oh, and that Luke thinks I am terrible at my job

14. What is your mom's favorite food?
Caleb - Chinese food, I mean Mexican
Luke - Chicken
MY THOUGHTS: Good job boys!

15. What makes you proud of your mom?
Caleb - That she takes good care of us.
Luke - For giving me presents.

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
Caleb - that rabbit on Trix cereal
Luke - A princess
MY THOUGHTS: I don't even know what to think about the fact that my oldest boy thinks I am most like the Trix rabbit. I wonder if that is just in the way I look or act? Perhaps both.

17. What do you and your mom do together?
Caleb - Cuddle!
Luke - Give gifts
MY THOUGHTS: Luke's love language must be gifts and Calebs is definitely quality time!

18. How are you and your mom the same?
Caleb - We both do the same things
Luke - Color of our hair

19. How are you and your mom different?
Caleb - You're a girl and I'm a boy
Luke - You have earrings.
MY THOUGHTS: Very observant boys!

20. How do you know your mom loves you?
Caleb - Because I was your first baby
Luke - Because you tell us you love us so much

21. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?
Caleb - To Nana's house
Luke - to the gym
MY THOUGHTS: Bingo to both!