I have a secret to tell you.
I don't read blogs. Well, that's not entirely true. There are about 25 blogs in my blog reader and they are mostly blogs of friends of mine. So I rarely read blogs of people that I don't know. I just don't have time to read blogs and I am terrible at commenting (although I am trying to change that!) even though I love comments. I know, hypocritical.
With that said, the other day I was surfing the net and happened to just start linking from blog to blog. I must have spent an hour or so reading random blogs of people I don't even know. And when I was done I really felt terrible. Just terrible - about myself!
I was reading all these cool blogs of really amazing mommies of all walks of life. Some had careers that they juggled, another home schooled 7 kids, others were into knitting, crafts, design, some ate and fed their kids only organic, some lived on farms while others lived in big cities and had cool looking houses. Some blogs had tons of readers, really cool graphics and witty names. There are some really fascinating mommy bloggers out there with incredible writing skills.
And I walked away feeling completely inadequate. And had a pity party about what a terrible mom I am. I don't knit, feed my kids organic, have skills in interior design all while homeschooling 7 kids and running a corporation...on a farm...with chickens...and lamas. I felt like a total l-o-s-e-r.
But isn't that what we do as moms? We compare ourselves to other moms. We take what we like about all the moms we know, patchwork work it into one very amazing mom and compare ourselves to her. And inevitable come up short. Every time. And then beat ourselves up about it. Does that sound familiar? Okay, maybe I'm the only one who does this...
In any case, what makes me laugh most about my neurosis in doing this is that what I usually like about other moms is unique to them and something that I'm not really interested in. I have no interest in organics, knitting, interior design nor do I even want to live on a farm. While I think these things are amazing, there not for me. So why am I judging myself based on them?
Furthermore why do I judge myself based on snapshots of someone's life? When reading someone else's blog I am only seeing/reading what they are willing to share. Most people don't air their dirty laundry on a daily basis. I know I don't.
Which brings me to my final point, if you read my blog and think I have it all together - please, please don't. I am a work in progress and nowhere near completion. I am just like every other mom trying to figure out how to do this with many mistakes made by me and lots of grace given to me. And I put my underwear on one leg at a time just like everyone else. Sometime I even lose balance and fall over - compare yourself to that! You'll feel better!
I'm going to try hard to stop comparing. Starting now. Ready..set..go!