Friday, January 16, 2009

Confessions

I have a secret to tell you.

I don't read blogs. Well, that's not entirely true. There are about 25 blogs in my blog reader and they are mostly blogs of friends of mine. So I rarely read blogs of people that I don't know. I just don't have time to read blogs and I am terrible at commenting (although I am trying to change that!) even though I love comments. I know, hypocritical.

With that said, the other day I was surfing the net and happened to just start linking from blog to blog. I must have spent an hour or so reading random blogs of people I don't even know. And when I was done I really felt terrible. Just terrible - about myself!

I was reading all these cool blogs of really amazing mommies of all walks of life. Some had careers that they juggled, another home schooled 7 kids, others were into knitting, crafts, design, some ate and fed their kids only organic, some lived on farms while others lived in big cities and had cool looking houses. Some blogs had tons of readers, really cool graphics and witty names. There are some really fascinating mommy bloggers out there with incredible writing skills.

And I walked away feeling completely inadequate. And had a pity party about what a terrible mom I am. I don't knit, feed my kids organic, have skills in interior design all while homeschooling 7 kids and running a corporation...on a farm...with chickens...and lamas. I felt like a total l-o-s-e-r.

But isn't that what we do as moms? We compare ourselves to other moms. We take what we like about all the moms we know, patchwork work it into one very amazing mom and compare ourselves to her. And inevitable come up short. Every time. And then beat ourselves up about it. Does that sound familiar? Okay, maybe I'm the only one who does this...

In any case, what makes me laugh most about my neurosis in doing this is that what I usually like about other moms is unique to them and something that I'm not really interested in. I have no interest in organics, knitting, interior design nor do I even want to live on a farm. While I think these things are amazing, there not for me. So why am I judging myself based on them?

Furthermore why do I judge myself based on snapshots of someone's life? When reading someone else's blog I am only seeing/reading what they are willing to share. Most people don't air their dirty laundry on a daily basis. I know I don't.

Which brings me to my final point, if you read my blog and think I have it all together - please, please don't. I am a work in progress and nowhere near completion. I am just like every other mom trying to figure out how to do this with many mistakes made by me and lots of grace given to me. And I put my underwear on one leg at a time just like everyone else. Sometime I even lose balance and fall over - compare yourself to that! You'll feel better!

I'm going to try hard to stop comparing. Starting now. Ready..set..go!

6 comments:

Elizabeth said...

I was feeling the exact same way earlier this week. When I start jumping around to new blogs it just discourages me. So why do I do that to myself? Thanks for the reminder that when we read a blog we are only seeing a snippet of that person's life, and only reading what they are willing to share. It's kind of a strange way to get to know someone b/c there's no way we can see all the parts of them. That's why I love getting to know the "real" person apart from their blog. It's a better picture of who they really are!

I'm so glad you read mine and I love that you comment when you can. Oh, and I fall over too sometimes.

allboys4us said...

Wow Sab Mad...I so appreciate your honesty...you wrote exactly what I so often feel when I read others blogs (including yours.) I am still in the process of learning that nothing good comes from comparing ourselves to others...we will always fall short in one way or another and the Gifts that we have been blessed with seem to fade as the gifts that others have been blessed with take on a greater importance in our minds... I want to embrace who I am and where I am so that I don't miss out on the amazing things that God has for me 'right now!'
Thanks!

MaryBeth said...

I spend way too much time oooh-ing and ahh-ing over the organic, homeschooling, farm living types too. I wonder why I find it so fascinating?!? Perhaps I should adopt your no other blog reading policy?? Then at least I'd get some things done around here...

Davies Family said...

Bet I know which homeschooling on a farm blog you read....

Real-life Family said...

Wow, I appreciate how articulate you are. I feel exactly the same way. I actually hated all blogs for several years because the ones I read always left me feeling like a loser. I still feel that way when I "blog hop", so I don't typically do it either. (Even some friends' blogs leave me feeling depressed, but I read them anyway, and just try not to compare.)

You know what, though...your blog is my all-time favorite. I want to be like you when I grow up, Sab Mad! ;) I'll take a real person who is willing to share her faults and mistakes and her crazy life with others over the organic farm/homeschool mom with 13 perfect kids (and 27 chickens) any day. Thanks for the great post!

Kellie said...

I have to stop myself from comparing myself to you, b/c I DO know you in real life and think you are an amazing mom!
I was talking about my shortcomings as a mommy to a friend today, and how I felt bad for yelling at my kids. She said, "But you're not a yeller!" I replied, "Well not when other people are around!" (Well maybe around you, Sab!) Point being, it's easy to look like it's all together when in public (well, some of the time) or on your blog!
Good thoughts!