Alrighty people, after mucho tears today I am feeling quite a bit better. I needed a good throw-myself-on-the-floor-so-I-can-kick-scream-rant-and-rave about how hard my life is currently. And now I am glad to move on pass that moment. I know that I'm not completely out of the funk, but I'm at least on the other side.
We really should have expected this. We went from Joseph working 8 hours a week to him being gone 60 hours a week. That is an adjustment. He is so helpful around here and works hard so that I don't have to. He helps me out with everything. So, when he is gone his presence is missed. By all of us.
So we are back to reality and I need to focus on the bright side of things. He isn't deployed. He isn't gone all the time like he has been for the past year and a half. He isn't pulling call this month. He doesn't have to study during the limited time he is home.
And, I've done all this by myself for weeks at a time. I can do it. I need to stop doubting myself and be a big girl. I have 4 gorgeous kiddos, that are a lot of work and exhausting at times. But they are also funny, bring me so much joy and show me lots of grace. And when Joseph is gone he is praying for me.