Sunday, July 06, 2008

It's 9:06am and I am still in bed this fine Sunday morning. We have had a super fun weekend, but now I am tired and feel like being lazy. It's super easy to do when my mama is here and between her, Joseph and my sister all my work is being done. Ahhhh...

Our 4th party was so much fun. If I wasn't feeling so lazy, I would get my camera and download some pictures for you to see. I'll do that later. For now, you will just get my dialogue.

Yesterday we went to the circus and that was a blast. My mom treated Joseph, Caleb and I to the circus and all it's glory. It was Luke's first time and Caleb's second time and they both loved it! We had fabulous seats and caught all the action up close and personal.

Today my mom and sister, Amy, are leaving and my other sister, Carami, is coming. I have gotten so spoiled living this close to my family. I am so thrilled that the boys are getting to make memories with their grandparents and aunts. As a military family, this is so rare and I want to enjoy it and never take it for granted. Who knows if this will ever happen again.

Over the past couple of days, I have been listening to a lot of my most favorite band on the planet. They have this song that has been resonating with me a lot lately. It's called, Mystery of Mercy, and it has amazing lyrics. Check this out...

I am the woman at the well,
I am the harlot
I am the scattered seed that fell along the path
I am the son that ran away
And I am the bitter son that stayed
My God, my God why hast though accepted me
When all my love was vinegar to a thirsty King?
My God, my God why hast though accepted me
It's a mystery of mercy and the song, the song I sing
I am the angry man who came to stone the lover
I am the woman there ashamed before the crowd
I am the leper that gave thanks
But I am the nine that never came
My God, my God why hast though accepted me
When all my love was vinegar to a thirsty King?
My God, my God why hast though accepted me
It's a mystery of mercy and the song, the song I sing
You made the seed that made the tree
That made the cross that saved me
You gave me hope when there was none
You gave me your only Son My God,
Lord you are My God, my God, Lord you are

I have been encountering a lot of entitlement lately. In my kids, in my family and most of all in myself. I deserve the, house, medical care, opportunities, plasma tv's, vacations, things. I work hard so I deserve...time to myself, obedient children, time with my friends, opportunities, peace and quiet...the list goes on. Not only do I deserve, I deserve it my way.

And I really feel like God has been hammering home that I deserve nothing. I am all the "people" in the stories in the song above. But by His grace, alone, I live and breathe. By His grace, alone, I have an amazing husband and gorgeous, healthy children. It is by His grace alone that I have anything.

And would I still love him if I had nothing? Or if His grace didn't match my picture of grace? Would I still call him Abba? Would I cling to him if I had 4 very ill children and lived on a dirt floor?

I want to say, yes with conviction, but my heart is so ugly. And God sees my heart. And still calls me by name. The ultimate grace.

10 Create in me a clean heart, O God.
Renew a loyal spirit within me.
11 Do not banish me from your presence,
and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and make me willing to obey you.
~Psalm 51:10-12


Sincerely Anna said...

I've had 40 Acres playing in my car and, man, that band has good, thoughtful lyrics. Thanks for sharing what God has been teaching you lately.

Elizabeth said...

Ooh, Caedmon's Call is my favorite too. I listened to them all day today!